Replying to Ads

By Samantha Vaughan

Without a doubt, one of the keys to success with online personals is to reply to as many ads as you possibly can.

It may sound like I’m stating the obvious, but if you only reply to one ad at a time you only have one chance of getting a positive response. It’s surprising just how many people adopt this approach. They reply to one ad, then wait for a response before moving on to the next one. 

This is definitely not the way to go. Reply to lots of ads all at once and you’ll have lots more chances of getting responses. And, of course, lots more chances of scoring that hot date you’re looking for.

In everyday life, some folks tend to sit back and wait for exactly the right moment to ask a friend or acquaintance or work colleague out on a date. What sometimes happens is that, while they’re waiting for that perfect moment to arrive, their potential partner has been swept off his or her feet by someone with a more proactive attitude.

It’s the same with online personals. The old adage of ‘first come, first served’ definitely applies! Which is why it’s a good idea to log in every day and check out new people who have joined since the day before. If you are able to reply to their ads before too many other people do, you’ll stand a much better chance of hooking up with the person you’re interested in. The trick is not to dilly-dally. Set aside fifteen or twenty minutes out of your day to browse the ads. You just never know when the love of your life is going to sign on as a member.

The next point to cover is exactly how to go about writing your ad replies.

The golden rule here is to read the ad thoroughly and read it in its entirety. Be sure to take note of any conditions the person might have included. If the ad says "non-smokers only" and you smoke, move on to another one. If it says "please live locally" and you’re 500 miles away, move on to another one (unless you’re willing to move house). If the person asks to see photos, make sure you send some with your reply. 

Above all, ensure you actually reply to what’s in the ad. Be careful not to simply reel off every little detail about yourself. Instead, think of your ad reply as trying to start a conversation as you would if you met someone in person.

What would you think if someone walked up to you in a bar and said: "Hi, my name is Sam. I am 35 years old and I work as a bank teller. I’m divorced, I collect stamps and I have a dog named Bobo"? 

I’d imagine that you wouldn’t want to give the guy the time of day.

Now consider how flattered you’d be if someone walked up to you and said: "I was just sitting over there, noticing how great your hair looks, and I had to come over and tell you as much."

It’s easy to use this same approach when replying to ads. If you really like the photo someone has posted, write to them and tell them you think they have a great smile. If a woman says she enjoys reading, ask her what kind of books she’s into. If a man says he likes snow skiing, ask him what his favorite ski resort is. If the person says they’re looking for someone with a sense of humor – or they have a good sense of humor themselves – describe a funny incident that happened to you or tell them your favorite joke. 

It’s all about taking an interest in the other person. Because when you do, they’ll be more likely to take an interest in you.